Tag Archives: dad

Day 193

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The Tools of Comfort

A different tool for the trade

Comfort is the name of the game. We are all shocked that this is still going on. Dad has a strong heart and is still young. Not sure what that all means. However, his breathing is still labored and random. When he is sleeping, its actually pretty okay. His kidneys are in the process of shutting down, if they haven’t already.

We use these syringes to get the medicine to go down (Mary Poppins song now in my head…). He can’t swallow or do it himself. So, the skinny one’s work best to get back further in his mouth. You then have to massage his jaw to get the medicine to either absorb or go down his throat. We are keeping up on hourly meds at this point to keep him comforted. Otherwise, he will begin to try and raise both arms. We think that he’s trying to open himself up for more air.

We’ve also taken to leaving him by himself now. Hard, hard to do… But we’ve had several people, including Hospice tell us that some folks just need to be alone to pass.

Photo taken with: Nikon D700, Nikon 60mm f/2.8

Day 192

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Packing Again.

Trusty Duffels

I got that call today. We have hours at this point. I quickly packed and am now sitting in Columbus. I was delayed some in the airport which helped me calm down (due to beers…) Either way, I am glad that I’m here now and I can be with the family for when dad’s moment arrives.

Dad’s breathing is very shallow and far and few between. He’s pretty much comatose now. Again, please pray for a quick release. We do believe that it will be in the next several hours. Lots of coffee… I’ll post again soon after.

Photo taken with: Nikon D700, Nikon 50mm f/1.8

Day 186

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Home, Sweet?, Home

9972

I flew back to MSP today. Arrived a couple of hours ago. I honestly have to say that its relaxing to be here. I am hoping to get back to some sort of normalcy, even if it’s only for awhile.

I appreciate the comments and the emails that you have all sent over the last 2 weeks. I save every one… Currently, I have over 115 in my folder. I cannot believe the outpouring that we have received. I took just about everyone’s advice and was able to atleast tell my dad that I loved him. When I said that I was going to back to Minneapolis, he just shook his head no. 😦

He’s still sleeping alot, staring out into the distance… But he did eat some food today! Mom told me that when she asked if he wanted some more Ensure, he said, “I don’t mind if I do…”  We know that his personality and humor is still around and that is comforting. 🙂

At the end of the day, I am realizing that home is wherever you want it to be… it’s with those that you love. Maybe “home” isn’t even a place at all. If my dad were to die tonight, I know that he will always be with me, at home.

Thanks to everyone for surrounding me with what is my “home” all the time, no matter where I am. That’s what is really Sweet.

Photo taken with: Nikon D700, Nikon 50mm f/1.8

Day 185

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What do you say?

Circa 1979

I leave tomorrow afternoon for Minneapolis. I’ve been in Columbus for a little over two weeks now and its time to get back to work. As I am packing and wrapping things up, I always have a checklist. On that checklist, ” say goodbye to dad”.

Dad’s been sleeping pretty much all day. He had a bite to eat, which has been rare. But he can’t really talk. It’s a whisper when he does and it often isn’t understood. I’m afraid that I’ve already lost that chance to say what I want to say, maybe what I need to say. We had some great conversations, we cried together, we were angry together and we laughed. But is that really all?

How do you say goodbye to someone that you will probably never see again? How do you say all of things that you want him to know, but can’t possibly think of? Will he even understand? At the end of the day, he knows that I love him and I know that he loves me. Maybe those words mean way more then we give them credit for?

Photo taken with: Nikon D700, Tamron 28-300 f/3.6

Day 184

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Fireworks!!

"Big PaCorn!" - Maggie

We were able to sneak out tonight for a bit to catch the fireworks. Reynoldsburg Fireworks are just down the street from our house… so a little walk! I was surprised at the lack of people, but that was okay with me since we got some great vantage points.

4th of July is always a fun Holiday. It’s one where you can always see people coming together to enjoy a really cool show. It’s the annual symbol of our freedom to do what we want every day.

Dad had a rough day today. He was VERY frustrated that he couldn’t get up and walk. I think that we often take for granted the freedoms that we do have — those that come from a Constitution or those that come from just being able to move, breathe, live. When one is taken away, like walking has been for dad, we aren’t prepared to give it up. It was rough for us to see him dealing with this… and will continue to be. Please continue to pray for his release… this earthbound body isn’t the freedom that my dad wants, or the one that he deserves.

Photo taken with: Nikon D700, Tamron 28-300 f/3.5